drarryderps (drarryderps) wrote,

it’s the same thing as when r* came into your life and i hated them so much becuse it felt like they were always the better friend and it made me feel so incredibly unnecessary and unneeded in your life!! and i always needed you so i hated them because you always needed them

and im grown enough to realize tht’s stupid because these friends came into your life when you they needed to because tht’s just how life works and they can provide whatever they provide and it doesnt concern me because they are different people

and that’s such a logical thought but it doesnt override the anxiety and paranoia in me that thinks im only around and not because you need or want me to and that i dont provide anything and im useless and stupid and unnecessary and if i wasnt around it wouldnt make a difference

and you not responding and not being able to see you when we live in the same city only refutes my paranoia but i cant always be mad at you because i know it’s something you dont do intentionally

but im also always mad at you for being this way!!!!!!! because you can’t help yourself and keep doing it and i always get hurt by it

i always think im ok with it that i don’t care anymore and i won’t be affected but then i feel like this and i hate this so much i hate feeling this way

Tags: babble
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